Ever notice how there seems to be a “type” of woman that is constantly saying, “All men are dogs”. Or always seems to be dating a guy who treats her horribly then either stays and complains or jumps to the next man who treats her just as bad if not worse? One thing that this woman refuses to acknowledge is that she is attracting, dating, having children by and  marrying this man.

She refuses to acknowledge that it is not that man that is the problem but her. Of course there are women that end up in bad relationships with people that just aren’t good for them but there are also women who consistently date men who are no good then have children by them and can’t seem to understand why they aren’t being a good man or father.

The signs are there from the beginning but she chooses to ignore them and hopes that this guy will be better than the others she dated, slept with, had children by. She pretends as though he is any different from the other losers she gave her everything to and once again decides to give her all. She dates the same type of man, she meets at the same types of places and expects him to be different. Why? Why is he going to be different than anyone else when she herself is the same she has always been.

She keeps dating these types of guys because as much as she cries that all she wants is a good man, she doesn’t. She doesn’t because he would be too boring for her. He wouldn’t provide the constant drama she is use to in her life. He won’t send her on a roller coaster of emotions because his love is consistent and he doesn’t provide the whirlwind of highs and lows that she has grown accustomed to. If by chance she were to ever meet this “good man” he would not stay with her long. Why? This man knows his worth and he is not going to settle for a woman who doesn’t know hers and is constantly trying to bring him to the level of the men from her past, or make him pay for things everyone but him did.

She’s too blind to realize that she is sabotaging herself and her relationship with said good man and usually goes back to the exact same type of guy she was trying to get away from. She gets cheated on, physically and emotionally abused and taken for granted on a daily basis. Yet and still she stays because for her this has become home. Her friends are in similar situations and they all give each other the same bad advice. She has no idea of what a real man, relationship or family unit should look like and instead tries to create her own.

She spends her time either posting online about how bad her man is, other men are, or entertaining the men that slide into her dms saying how they would be a better man to her. Instead of focusing her energy on bettering herself she chooses to complain about these “no good men” not realizing that she isn’t much of a catch herself and is consistently attracting these men to her.

One day she becomes tired of having to deal with it all. She either decides to date women, who turn out to be just as bad as the men she was dating, or  she keeps to herself still believing there is no such thing as a good man.

In order for her to break this cycle she must realize that she is causing it. She must take a break from constantly seeking out, dating and sleeping with men that always turn out to be no good for her. She must learn to love, value and respect herself before anyone else will. She must prepare herself to be a “good woman” and be equally yoked with the type of partner she truly deserves. When she starts changing her inner self, her inner thoughts will change as well as the way she sees the world around her. Only then will she begin attracting the person she deems as a suitable partner and only then will she be able to realize that, she had been attracting that “no good man” all along.

So tell me ladies, do you know “her”?

Ashley Renee is a soul food enthusiast, sometimes vegetarian, spoken word poet, who doesn’t trust boxed macaroni or cats. keep up with her @ashleyreneepoet on twitter & instagram also check out her website. www.ashleyreneepoet.com