It’s no secret ladies and gents, men just aren’t the greatest at cheating. Not that they should be. Cheating is bad. Very, very bad kiddos. But, if a man is going to cheat, at least be good at it. It’s actually pretty disrespectful how horrible some men can be at trying to hide their deception. First, let me point out I am not talking about the, “How to be a Player Cheaters”, they are on their own playing field full of lies and deceit. We are discussing every day average joe, run of the mill cheaters. Here are seven reasons why men always get caught cheating.

1.They are dumb 

 

 

I’m sure I could have come up with something a little wittier to describe it, but let’s just call a spade a spade. They most likely aren’t thinking with their head, the big one anyway. Most men usually don’t put much planning or thought into something that has the ability to change their lives forever. They are simply acting in the moment with no real game plan or thinking at all. What do people do when they make hasty decisions without thinking them through? They make stupid, dumb decisions like leaving Facebook pages open with tons of evidence, leading women on to believe they are single when Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, which you gave her all of, say otherwise and leave receipts to Nobu on a Saturday night laying clear as day on the table. See, my name calling was warranted.

2. Women are private detectives 

Women are born with a special “extra memory” that allows us to safely store numbers, passwords, birthdates, addresses and the names of all of our partners ex girlfriends. You can not hide anything from a woman on a mission, not that you would be good at it anyway because cheating men are sloppy, see number three. Women have a special intuition unique to them which usually lets us know when something simply isn’t right in the relationship. Men begin acting differently. We pick up on subtle changes that they might not even notice and from their research begins.

3. Cheating men are sloppy 

Cheating men get way too comfortable. You have your side chicks number stored as pizza hut, slip up and say the wrong name, leave receipts in your pocket and believe you will never get caught. When a man gets comfortable in his role as the cheater he often leaves behind many clues of his infidelity that the most clueless of girlfriends would be blind not to pick up on.

4. Cheating men have huge egos 

*Ladies you’re welcome btw*

So he’s gotten away with cheating one or two times, he has a few unenlightened women running after him like he is Gods gift to earth and he is now feeling a little cocky. An inflated ego can definitely blow the sneakiest of cheaters cover. At this point he is probably bragging to his friends about his latest conquest when he doesn’t even realize he’s pocket dialed his girlfriend. The enlarged ego can make a man feel like he simply can not get caught, which leads to just that.

5. The side chick wants to ruin him

The side chick has decided she doesn’t like being a side chick anymore. She knows it is she who he really wants to be with if only he would get rid of that pesky girlfriend of his. The drama begins. She takes pics of him sleeping, calls the girlfriend with stories of their late night escapades and shows up every where she isn’t supposed to be. The side chick will simply not settle for the position she is in and is determined to end him and the relationship.

6. His aunt, cousin and grandma are nosey

Now which one is this? Grandma Louise whispers at the dinner table knowing damn well the whole family can hear her. That’s not the girl that keeps calling him. Aunt Sharon replies. Yep, busted. For some reason cheating men think the women in their family are going to keep their secrets! Wrong, wrong and wrong again.

7. He starts acting differently

Really? You didn’t think we would notice your sudden need to go to the gym every night at 10 pm? You thought we simply hadn’t noticed your new underwear, cologne, or late nights at the office? Well we do, stupid. Suddenly switching up habits are some of the biggest telltale signs of cheating! How about next time, just don’t.

Can you think of anymore signs why men always get caught cheating?

Ashley Renee is a soul food enthusiast, sometimes vegetarian, spoken word poet, who doesn’t trust boxed macaroni or cats. keep up with her @ashleyreneepoet on twitter & instagram also check out her website. www.ashleyreneepoet.com