Recently i’ve been on a journey of self discovery and personal and financial success. Freelance writing affords me tons of time which can be either a good or bad thing, depending on how you use it. I’ve chosen to keep myself motivated by doing tons of reading in between writing. Specifically, I’ve been reading success stories. I’ve ran across tons of articles as well as many youtube videos from seminars from Tony Robbins on keys to success or even small victories like how a young woman was able to raise her credit score 300 points in under a year and climb out of debt. In reading these stories i’ve been motivated to try some of the things they felt helped them in their success and though extremely helpful it can definitely be a tad bit difficult breaking old habits that have crippled me in the past from reaching my full potential. None the less I was inspired and will continue to actively pursue wealth and success in my own right. Perhaps, we can even motivate each other.
1.Don’t Focus on Success
“What I know for sure is that if you want to have success, you can’t make success your goal. The key is not to worry about being successful, but to instead work toward being significant – and the success will naturally follow.” -Oprah Winfrey
Some people get so wrapped up in being successful and the need to gain success whatever that might mean to them, they forget to be significant. They can’t quite tell you what makes them different, or what they are providing that people need. It is important to remember why you started, what was it that you wanted to do that you knew in your heart of hearts was needed, was valuable, could change the world or how people live their lives. That is what you must focus on. Your goals, your talent, the unique thing that you specifically have to offer and success will surely follow.
2. Change your limiting beliefs
“Even when the goal is crystal clear, and it’s truly a must for you to achieve, is that enough to succeed? Often it can be. But if you find yourself either failing to act or pulling back, or even sabotaging yourself, there’s one reason: You have Inner Conflicts.”-Tony Robbins
Many people have stifling inner thoughts that stop them from reaching their full potential. Even when they may be telling themselves they can do it, in the back of their mind they are reminding themselves all of the reasons why they can’t. I personally have struggled with this.It can be difficult to overcome negative thoughts but like any other habit, it can be mastered. It’s important to get to the bottom of why you feel like you can’t reach your goals. Is it because someone told you that you couldn’t from a young age and you have that soundtrack playing in the back of your mind? Maybe you tried once but didn’t reach the finish line. Whatever that stifling thought may be, acknowledge it, recognize it and actively work to erase it and replace it with positive reinforcing thoughts of all of the reasons why you can and you must reach your goals. Reiterate the times you did reach a goal of yours, no matter how large or small it may have been. Thinking back to times where we were successful triggers something in our mind that lets us know we are capable of doing it again.
3.Let go of comparisons
“I generally find that comparison is the fast track to unhappiness. No one ever compares themselves to someone else and comes out even. Nine times out of ten, we compare ourselves to people who are somehow better than us and end up feeling more inadequate.”-Jack Canfield
Another past issue of mine. I would see people succeeding in the same or similar fields, heck even sometimes people who were trying to do something totally different than me, something I may have not even been interested in, but I would see them and ask myself why I had not yet become successful. The answer for myself was simple, at the time I wasn’t trying. Maybe you are like me but maybe you are trying. Maybe you are putting in extra hard work and see someone who isn’t clocking the same hours, or working as hard, reaching levels of success you have not yet been able to reach. You have to let go of that. You never really know what is going on behind closed doors with people and even if everything is going great for them, comparing yourself to them is not going to make you great and certainly won’t make you feel great. Stay in your own lane. Have you ever seen a person drive a car while looking at the car next to them the entire time? Maybe they glance for a moment, but to completely become immersed in what the next driver is doing is bound to cause an accident. You have to drive your own car, at your own speed and make it to the finish line. If the person you are comparing yourself to is in your field, perfect! Study what they are doing. See what mistakes they are making, look at ways you could improve it. Or perhaps they are doing everything right and you could learn a thing or two from them, even better. Study what they are doing right and do it better! You also never know what stage a person is in so don’t get caught up comparing their highlight reel to your starting point. Focus purely on reaching your goals as efficiently as possible.
4. Never miss an opportunity
“Big opportunities in life have to be seized.We don’t do very many things, but when we get the chance to do something that’s right and big, we’ve got to do it. And even to do it in a small scale is just as big a mistake almost as not doing it at all. You’ve really got to grab them when they come, because you’re not going to get 500 great opportunities.”-Warren Buffet
I’ve had a few times where I had the chance to talk to people who were leaders in my industry, i’m talking household names who could have taken my career to the next level and I blew it. I simply didn’t speak to them. I still think back to what I should have said. I know though that the next time I get an opportunity I will definitely speak up. I tell myself and those i’m close to all the time that you don’t have an opportunity to miss an opportunity. You never know when the right opportunity will show up again so you simply can not hesitate. I promise you will be kicking yourself for months or years to come about the time you choked, or missed an opportunity that had fallen right into your lap! Stay prepared. If it’s talking to influential people that you are afraid of, put yourself out there. Start practicing by randomly greeting strangers, taking improv or speech classes, or talking in the mirror! Whatever it is that you need to do to feel confident when that moment comes, do it! Some opportunities are truly once in a lifetime, don’t be the person who missed out.
5. Don’t be afraid to fail
“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all.” -J.K. Rowling
Let’s face it, you are going to fail. At some point and some time in your life something you attempt is not going to go as planned. The things that makes successful people actually obtain success is not that they never fail, but that they fail and keep going. Successful people use failure as a learning opportunity. They don’t go to pieces and give up simply because something they tried didn’t work, no they keep going. They think of other ways to approach their goals. They get rid of what’s not working for them and keep what is. Success is not never failing. Success is recognizing that at some point you are in fact going to fail and using that as a chance to learn and grow. I honestly don’t even like using the word failure because it just sounds so negative. I truly believe that the only time you actually fail is when you quit. So yea if the idea of not winning all of the time, not succeeding at every single thing you do is enough to get you to quit, then you might as well not even try to begin with. Successful people have mastered the art of not allowing their failures to deter them or determine their overall outcome. Realize that ultimate success is your only option and keep going no matter what road blocks or detours you may face.
Have you tried any of these success tips?
Ashley Renee is a soul food enthusiast, sometimes vegetarian, spoken word poet, who doesn’t trust boxed macaroni or cats. keep up with her @ashleyreneepoet on twitter & instagram also check out her website. www.ashleyreneepoet.com