Many people struggle with knowing exactly when it’s time to commit. Some feel there is a magical moment that is supposed to happen for them to know it’s time. While others merely weight their options, while hoping that the one they really wants sticks around during this process. So how do you know exactly when it’s time to start a relationship with the person you have been dating? There is no right answer that applies to all couples. However, there are telltale signs that you are ready to take the next step with that special someone.
1.Free time is reserved for them
If it goes without saying that you are going to spend weekends, off days or anytime you get to yourself with them, you are pretty close to being in a relationship. When you no longer have to wonder what your plans are on a Friday night because you already know exactly who you are going to be spending it with, that’s a clear indication that you enjoy this person’s company and want to be around them on a regular basis.
2. You think about a future with them
You find yourself daydreaming about what they would be like as a spouse or parent. You visualize yourself someday marrying them and thoughts of what you want to do with them in the future are constantly running through your mind. You already know what you want and it’s them. You know there is a difference between this person and others you might be casually dating or have dated in the past. You probably couldn’t picture the next month with those other people let alone a lifetime. If thoughts of a future with this person constantly come to mind, it’s most likely because that is exactly who you want to be with!
3. You are yourself with them
So often when dating, we meet the other person’s “representative” far before we meet them. We only see the good side. They show us all the things they think we want to see. When you become comfortable with someone the walls come down. You are able to be yourself regardless of what they may think and it feels amazing. You aren’t constantly trying to think of something witty to say and feel comfortable in moments of silence. There is nothing more liberating than being comfortable in your own skin and able to let your guard down completely.
4. You are completely happy alone
No one, including Sway, will ever have all the answers. You realize that. You are happy in your life and know exactly what you want out of it. Relationships should be complimentary. You should never need anyone to make you happy, that’s something you have to find on your own. The best relationships are when two whole people come together to build an even greater bond. Not when one person is trying to repair the other, or both people are using the other one to make them feel whole. When you are completely happy on your own but realize having a committed partner will make your life even greater, then you are already mentally prepared for an amazing relationship.
5. You have disagreements
Not screaming matches and certainly not physical altercations, but regular disagreements that lead to a better understanding of the other person. Every couple is going to disagree at some point. When you have disagreements with the person you are dating, it is usually because you both care enough to want the other person to see your point of view and then move past the situation. Most people aren’t taking the time to hear out someone they are not really interested in building a relationship with. If from time to time you may have a slight disagreement with the person you are dating and successfully move past it, you are already building great communication skills needed for a healthy relationship.
6. You want what’s best for them
Often times when casually dating it is easy to just think of self. You want to get the most that you can get out of the situation without truly looking out for the other person’s best interest. When you are dating someone you truly care about, you want what’s best for them. You want to see them happy. You want to help them succeed and you want to watch them grow even when it means eliminating your own selfish needs to benefit the other person.
7. You feel happy just being around them
It doesn’t matter if you are on a beach or lounging on the couch watching Netflix. The mere presence of your companion makes you happy. When you have found someone you are happy just hanging out with on a Tuesday night binge watching reality tv, why look any further? Many people feel the need to constantly be out and about or equate love with expensive trips or dinners. When you require absolutely nothing but the other persons company, that is the real indication that you truly want to be with this person.
8. You love them
Maybe you haven’t even admitted it to yourself yet. Maybe you haven’t said those three magical words to them but you know. Deep down inside you get a tingly feeling whenever you hear their name, you are constantly thinking of things you want to do for them and you love them! You might not be deeply in love with them but you know that you love them and what better indication that you are ready to commit to someone than truly loving that person?
9. You trust them
You’ve told them more than a few secrets and you feel secure with them knowing. Opening up to people can be scary. You aren’t sure if they will judge you, or look at you differently. When you feel comfortable telling them your secrets it lets you know that you can trust them which is something needed in every relationship.
10. There are no Ex’s lingering in the background
You don’t have to worry about them still wanting or entertaining their ex and vice versa. You only have eyes for them. You have wiped your hands completely of the past and are ready to move forward. Past partners can cause a lot of problems when doors haven’t been completely closed and there are cracks in your foundation. If you have cut all ties with your past and have no reason to look back, committing will be a walk in the park.
11. You can’t picture your life without them
Friday night pasta or Monday night wings just wouldn’t be the same without them. You have already incorporated them into so many aspects of your life, if they were gone a part of you would be missing. When even your day to day thoughts revolve around this person and you can’t even imagine your life without them in it, commitment is the only logical next step.
12. It just feels right
Being with them just feels like home. You might not be where you want to be financially or have your whole life mapped out, but this person just makes you feel good regardless of what situation you are in they always seem to put a smile on your face. If this sounds familiar what are you waiting for? There is never going to be a perfect moment, but when you are with the right person, they make every moment seem perfect!
Ashley Renee is a soul food enthusiast, sometimes vegetarian, spoken word poet, who doesn’t trust boxed macaroni or cats. keep up with her @ashleyreneepoet on twitter & instagram also check out her website. www.ashleyreneepoet.com